Things that I want to do

These are some of the things that I want to do, in no particular order.

1. Go to a concert for the first time, maybe see Fall Out Boy live.
2. Get my belly button pierced.
3. Have my own apartment.
4. Go to a comedy club.
5. Look at the stars through a telescope.
6. Go on a roadtrip.
7. Go to Colorado and play in the snow.
8. Climb to the top of a lighthouse at sunset and scream at the top of my lungs.
9. Get married.
10. Go back to school and figure out what I'm gonna do with my life.
11. Get a car.
12. Let go of my fears... and dance in the apartment like nobody is looking.

I've got more of these that I want to be able to do. But I'll add more as I go.

Crash, the pieces fall in a downward spiral.
Spirit wilting like a damaged flower, shoulders fall weak under the weight.
Feel the air charged with energy, take hold of the lightning.
World falling apart once again, grab a branch and hold on for life.
Dance as if you aren't alone, smile like it doesnt hurt.
Take it in, break the chains, you're in charge now.
Throw your self pity away, becoming stronger.
Theres a time to surrender and a time to fight.
Together we stand, united in our solitude.
We forge on, against the inner turmoil that seems to ensue.
Keep your head up, dont look down.
Pay no heed to the snapping at your heels, keep a steady pace.



I was thinking about how the time has flown by. Seems that I've been devoting pretty much all my time on my sister and her life, taking care of my niece. And I've neglected to take care of myself, of my needs and wants. I know that the world wont fall at my feet if I'm not there to keep it together, but I cant seem to help it. It's like I LIKE taking care of her. In a way I guess it's true, but I've just got to keep telling myself that this isnt all there is. I'm going to get out of here, I'm going to have fun.. but only when I'm ready. Yeah, I am almost 20 but I just have to stop being scared, take a deep breath and plunge into the waters called life. It's a VERY daunting thought, having to take care of myself ALL ON MY OWN, but it's something that I need to do. Only then will I be able to call myself an adult. Like I just said, I've got to keep my eyes fixed ahead and keep moving even if I'm only moving by inches. Things dont happen overnight. But, I AM going to do that weight loss thing that my sister was selling. I'm going to try it for a week starting tomorrow, and if it goes well.. well then I'll have succeeded something huh? I'm going to have to get some motivational music or something to put on my iPod. Oh my, I'm sooo obsessed with music, I HAVE to find new music once a day, it's like my life. The feeling that I get when I hear a good song.. it's indescribable, but it's almost like a drug to me. Nice, huh?